Friday, April 21, 2017

What we learned doing National Service

National Service - what we learned



Every now and again after some particular outrage by a young person, student, hoodie, longhair  or what have you then some armchair colonel  will come out of the woodwork and suggest that National Service should be re-introduced instead of sending them to university.

I am thinking of writing a book about my National Service days just over half a century ago, and will call it something like "Learned to drive and learned to skive"

The Chapters will include:


How to pretend to be busy by carrying a clipboard

When in a barracks walk quickly looking straight ahead so that it would appear that you have some purpose

All the verses of  bawdy rugby songs

Swearing  in Arabic, 

 How to darn socks

Marching without kicking the heels of the guy in front so that a whole platoon is
brought down like a row of dominoes.( Never really mastered that one)

Spend long hours doing nothing either on your bed or in the Naafi if there was money left.

If it stands still paint it, if it moves salute it.

Play brag and solo

Get drunk

Smoke

Fire a rifle, sten gun and pistol

And most importantly....

Bite your tongue when being given orders by jumped up little squirts with upper
class accents and no brains.





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